It’s Time to Party
Two Parties; One Weekend
We know of two parties happening this weekend—one on Friday and one on Saturday. We’re sort of invited to both, but not really.
The Friday party is next door. Our neighbors host it every year, and we suspect the invitation is more about keeping us from calling the cops over the noise than actually wanting us there. And believe me—they make some noise.
We’ve heard through the grapevine that they don’t particularly like Mikey and me. They’ve talked about us, spread rumors, and even called the police on us a few times. At one point, both the husband and wife went to a city council meeting to claim our house was a multi-family home in a single-family zone. (Yes, I was watching the live video feed.)
Whenever we’ve asked if they have a problem with us, they say no—but add that we “violate their beliefs.” Needless to say, we politely declined their invitation. We’ll just live with the noise and keep our peace.
Now, the Saturday party is a completely different story. Those neighbors are genuinely kind and always excited to have us over. Their parties include board games, good wine and beer, and some truly amazing hors d'oeuvres. We’ve been to a few, and they always make us feel welcome.
Well… sort of.
When we walk in, there’s that moment when the room goes quiet. Guests stop what they’re doing and turn to look—as if they’ve never seen a gay couple before. It takes a while for people to warm up to us. Eventually, a few approach, usually with lines like, “Oh! My sister has a friend who’s gay. I’m very gay-friendly.” (It’s always the women.)
The men, on the other hand, tend to stick together across the room, chatting and occasionally glancing our way before laughing quietly among themselves. The whole thing feels awkward. Like we were invited so our hosts could say they have “diverse friends.”
I think we’ll skip it this year.
So, what does any of this mean?
Honestly—it’s one of the main reasons we’re moving to Uruguay. Republicans have spent years vilifying LGBTQ people, turning us into convenient talking points whenever they need to rile up their base. Since I came out, the rhetoric has only gotten worse. “Family values” has become a dog whistle, and since 2016, white christian nationalists have pushed their agenda so hard that it is only a matter of time before our rights are stripped away—or worse, criminalized.
And before you think I’m giving Democrats a free pass—nope. They’re not much better. Every election season, they knock on our doors, eager for our votes and our front lawns for their signs. They talk about equality and rights, but once in office, we disappear from their agenda.
We’re not considered part of “diversity.”
At the 2024 Democratic National Convention, the only time the LGBTQ community was mentioned was in reference to Project 2025—the plan to repeal marriage equality, reinstate sodomy laws, and allow businesses to deny services based on “religious beliefs.” Not one speaker talked about what it’s actually like to live as an LGBTQ person in this country. No one on that stage looked or sounded like us.
Why? Because being LGBTQ is still controversial—even for Democrats. Some of their most influential members would rather pretend we’re not part of the conversation.
They think we don’t have a choice when it comes to voting.
But we do.
We can choose not to vote. And maybe then, they’ll finally see just how important our community is—because when our votes disappear, their numbers will too.
Countdown: cross your fingers, 8 more days until departure.
