On the 183rd Day

Yesterday marked six months since we left the US and arrived in Uruguay. It is hard to believe we have been here this long and all that we have accomplished in such a short time. This post is a reflection on what we have achieved, what I have grown to love, and what I definitely do not miss about the US. So, let’s not waste time and jump right in.

What We Have Accomplished So Far

We are currently living in our fourth location in Montevideo. Our three B&Bs were all in different parts of the city, and now our apartment is on the far east side of Montevideo. It is almost like living in “Too Far Navarre” back when we lived in Florida.

We survived the process of securing a place to live, which required learning and understanding the steps renters must go through before they are even allowed to sign a lease.

We navigated the language barrier in order to buy a refrigerator, oven, washing machine, bed, couch (which we are now selling), two recliners, and a mirror. This can be very challenging when communication itself is the obstacle. It is like running an obstacle course at midnight during a new moon. You never know, through our communication, we could have ended up with an inground pool.

We obtained our cédulas and are now in the second stage of the process toward full citizenship. We currently hold Provisional Residency status.

We have identified and located most of the stores we need. There is no Walmart-style store here. One store may not carry everything you need. For example, the grocery store does not have a pharmacy, so you have to go somewhere else for that. The same goes for certain types of meat, produce, and pet supplies.

We have attended several cultural events such as Carnaval, a South American rodeo, ferias, and a dance/movement performance (all I can say is, “It was interesting and a week later I still don’t understand what I watched).

We got our mutualista, which is Uruguayan health insurance. It was far more difficult than one would think. It was like buying a “some assembly required” piece of furniture with seven “easy” steps, only to discover each step has eight stages, and the pictures do not match the instructions.

Mikey joined the Montevideo Gay Men’s Chorus and has his first concert May 31.

We are learning more about the history of this country and the layout of Montevideo.

What I Love About Living in Uruguay

It is a community-based culture. For the most part, people treat others with kindness and compassion. This applies to interactions between strangers just as much as it does between family members. The other day on the bus, I watched a woman in the front seat help an elderly gentleman with a medical-style cane climb the steps. He was struggling, and she guided him to the seat beside her. The bus driver did not move until the gentleman was seated. The man and woman talked the entire ride until it was her stop. It was heartwarming to witness that level of kindness.

The food here does not contain preservatives, artificial ingredients, injected hormones, or out-of-season produce that are so common in the US. Packaged food generally does not contain added preservatives or artificial sweeteners like corn syrup. (Thankfully, this does not apply to soda, so I can still get my Coke Zero.) Livestock cannot be injected with hormones or other growth-enhancing substances. The produce is incredible. Since most of it is grown within Uruguay, it tastes unbelievably fresh. I bit into a pear the other day, and it was like ambrosia—sweet, juicy, and full of flavor. That has been my experience with nearly all the produce here.

The downside is that you only get produce when it is actually in season. During the summer, I could buy amazing nectarines. Once the season ended, they completely disappeared. Eggs here are also not refrigerated in stores. They sit on shelves like any other product. I learned that eggs do not need refrigeration if they have never been refrigerated to begin with. Apparently, your kitchen counter is perfectly acceptable egg real estate.

Being near a large body of water. I would say the Atlantic Ocean qualifies as “fairly large.”

I love the mixture of Latin and Italian influences in both the culture and the food.

We are slowly learning a different language. And when I say “different,” I mean different. The Spanish spoken in Uruguay, Argentina, and Chile is very different from the Spanish spoken in other Latin American countries or Spain. Most people who learned Spanish in North or Central America struggle to understand speakers from this region. Plus, people speak very fast here. Even native Uruguayans admit it. It is like playing a 45 RPM record at 78 speed. It is FAST. I would call it graduate-level listening comprehension. What level am I currently at, you ask? First grade. Eating glue and maybe a booger or two (did that gross you out or what).

We already have some really good friends here whom we spend time with regularly.

We have easy access to several different countries. Buenos Aires is only about three hours away—a 30-minute drive to the ferry terminal and a 2.5-hour ferry ride. We are planning a trip there in the next few months. Our goal is to visit every country in South America.

The rambla—a wonderful pathway that follows the coastline the entire length of Montevideo and into Canelones. It is used for walking, running, or biking.

What I Miss From the US

Macaroni and cheese in the blue box. Yes, this is still my number one complaint.

Color. The color palette here leans heavily toward neutrals, stonewashed greens, and muted blues.

Spice in the food. Uruguayans do not generally enjoy heat or heavy spice. Black pepper itself is not commonly used.

Understanding how processes work. It can be difficult to navigate systems when you did not grow up using them. It is amazing how different the process to get things such as cedulas, bank accounts, and insurance has been from people who arrived a month or two before us. The government is always trying to improve it. However, the people who work in these frontline positions are always nice and friendly. They want to help you. They don’t hate their jobs, nor do they make sure they let you know just how miserable they are.

Easy access to items. Amazon does not exist here. While I miss the convenience of ordering whatever I want with one click, I also appreciate not having a mega-corporation swallowing every small business in sight.

Cheaper electronics. Electronics here can cost two to three times more than they do in the States because most items must be imported and are heavily taxed.

What I Don’t Miss

I do not miss winters in Connecticut. (Although I do miss watching snow fall while staying warm under a blanket on the couch.)

I do not miss the daily—and sometimes hourly—soap opera called “As Democracy Burns.” We do not have to hear about every political disaster unless we actively seek it out. Here, it is not the first topic of conversation. We mostly keep up through what I call, the “Three Horsemen” (why this name, because MAGA hates them): John Oliver, Jon Stewart, and Jimmy Kimmel. At this point, I trust them as much as—if not more than—several cable news networks. I chose not to spend my days chasing foxes down rabbit holes and through conspiracies.

I do not miss the constant fear of being shot. There has not been a single mass shooting in Uruguay since we arrived. Children here do not practice Run, Hide, Fight drills in school. There are sensible gun laws in place that help prevent these kinds of tragedies. My thoughts and prayers go out to the US.

I do not miss feeling like I live in a police state where unnecessary force often comes before dialogue. I do not miss watching personal rights slowly chipped away while law enforcement gains more power to invade privacy. I don’t miss the power trip some law officers carry. A prime example was the customs personnel at JFK Airport when we came back from Uruguay in June.

I do not miss having my sexual orientation and identity used as political pawns. We know many Republicans openly hate the LGBTQ community. At times, Democrats can be equally frustrating—their rhetoric may support our rights, but their actions often fail to follow through. It reminds me of a Baptist’s relationship with alcohol: they call it Satan’s juice Monday through Saturday, then act pious and self-righteous on Sunday because they went to church.

I do not miss the White Christian Nationalist movement that places LGBTQ rights and women’s rights at the center of its attacks. I now live in a country with a strong separation between church and state, rather than one where that wall feels like it is being chipped away daily.

I also do not miss the “Karens” and influencers. If someone behaved like a Karen here, people would genuinely wonder what was wrong with them, and their social standing would evaporate. As for influencers, having a famous last name or teaching people how to contour their cheeks should not automatically qualify someone to influence society.

These are just a few of the pros and cons of moving here. We are still settling in. I keep reminding myself that it is like starting a new job—it takes a full year before you truly understand your surroundings and feel comfortable. I think the same applies to this adventure. It is going to take time before this place fully feels like home.

Weather for the day: High of 13°C, low of 9°C, with gray skies and rain until around 4-ish.

As always, thank you for sticking with me. Remember: be kind to yourself and be kind to others. Do something like the woman on the bus did—perform a random act of kindness without expecting anything in return.