ROY G. BIV

Mikey and I want to turn this apartment into a home—because nothing says “temporary housing” like emotionally committing to throw pillows. We may only be here for two years, but we’d still like it to feel cozy and personalized instead of “stylish waiting room.”

We’ve ventured far and wide—by which I mean malls and stores—searching for items to bring life to this beige box. You’d think it would be simple: walk in, find things you like, bring them home. Maybe your problem is buying too many cute things and then realizing your home looks like a home décor store exploded.

Oh no. Not us. We go shopping and come home empty-handed—except, of course, for our two Coke Sin Azúcar, because clearly that’s the real prize.

Here’s the issue: Uruguay loves a neutral palette. And when I say “loves,” I mean “is in a long-term, committed relationship with beige.” Let me paint a picture using Pottery Barn (because I love it, and their furniture speaks to me spiritually). Think rustic—not distressed—mixed with clean lines. Lots of neutral tones like beige and soft reds. Then, they sprinkle in ROY G. BIV through linens, towels, knick-knacks, and décor. It’s balanced. It’s beautiful. It’s everything.

Now strip out all the ROY G. BIV.

Congratulations. You’ve just entered a store in Montevideo.

What remains is a sea of beige, muted reds, and browns. That’s it. That’s the vibe. This applies to linens, towels, throw pillows, rugs, and decorations—picture frames, decorative pots, you name it. Occasionally, a store will get wild and offer sheets in a stonewashed green or blue. Try not to get overwhelmed.

And just to be clear—this isn’t one store. It’s every store that sells home goods. I hate monochrome. If we rely solely on local stores, our home will look like a tribute to oatmeal. It is madness.

Thankfully, we did bring some artwork—pieces created by friends or that represent places we’ve lived with us. We removed them from their frames, rolled them up, and packed them in tubes like the responsible adults we pretend to be. Now we just need to get them framed so they can finally see daylight again.

We’re also planning to print photos of friends, family, and our travels to add some personality. So the walls? Covered. The small decorative items? Still a struggle.

And the limited color palette isn’t just confined to home décor. Oh no, it extends to clothing too. Same neutral tones, plus one bold addition: black. Because apparently beige needed a dramatic friend.

Shopping for clothes has been just as challenging. I like color. I enjoy opening my closet and seeing something other than a lineup of “emotionally subdued.” Neutrals are fine—as accents. Not as a lifestyle.

You really notice it on the bus. It’s a sea of black, brown, and the occasional white. Then there are two people wearing actual colors. I’ll let you guess who.

We stick out. Between the reds, blues, purples, and greens—and the occasional Pride flag moment—we’re not exactly blending in. I don’t feel like people are staring, but it’s very easy to imagine someone thinking, “Ah yes… Americanos.”

The good news? If they are thinking it, there are no negative consequences. People in Uruguay are raised to treat others with respect, regardless of where they’re from. So at least we can be colorful and comfortable.

To be clear, I’m not trying to change Uruguayan style. I’m just making a humble request: if anyone from the States is planning a trip to this small South American country, please bring colorful clothes and small home décor items—and just… leave them here when you go back.

PLEASE. I am begging.

Thank you for sticking with me to the end. As always: be kind to yourself, and be kind to others.